Day Dreaming is all fun and games until it starts to hurt your existing life
I have been a day dreamer my whole life. I use to sit on the bus, while traveling back to the rez, dreaming of places I’ve never seen, meeting new people, and imagining my “FULL” life. I wanted more from myself, more from others, and more with my life.
Now fast forward to being a wife, mom and turning 25, I continue to daydream everyday. This has been
- A great thing in my marriage because my husband often lives in the present day to day world. I dream up places, activities, things, tastes, smells, and experiences for us, that he often would go his whole life unknowing. I help him explore. I have become his personal travel agent. His idea person, and his go to source for creative help.
- This has also been a devastating thing to our family. I have wanted and expected far too much from my spouse, from my present self, and from our future. I can ruin plans because I have already developed far better ones based off of wanting to do what “they” are doing. I can make my husband feel unnecessary pressures and make him feel like he has robbed me by marrying young, having a child with me and wanting more children in the future.
Dreaming and discontentment are two very different things.
Daydreamers can often fall so quickly into discontentment, especially in our day, where flaunting our every move is normal. I have gone down rabbit holes into other peoples lives and have wished my entire life away by the scroll of my finger. I can so easily become bitter and discontent with my beautiful, wonderful life and this shatters me time and time again. I find myself depressed and looking for things to help me fill these voids of wanting more, which in turn never flourish but instead decay and hurt those who I love.
How to Manage:
I want to continue to be a daydreamer, but how can I be a Healthy one?
- Separate day dreaming and discontentment. Lets be real- you know when it’s just for fun and when you are going down a hurtful road. Understand that you can hurt yourself as well as others in your life. When you put unhealthy expectations on those you love, this often creates distance and bitterness.
- Find your triggers. Now, I’m not saying delete every social media app, But be mindful. Follow genuine caring, thoughtful people. Clear out your FB or hide those certain individuals that you struggle with. You can control so much of what you see on social media with the click of a button.
- Buy a journal. Be active in allowing your mind to day dream, but write these thoughts down. Choose the ones that are most prevalent on your heart and see them through from start to finish. Example: I really really wanted a blog where I could encourage others and actively pursue my daydreams. I cultivated this dream and I started Blowing in the Wind and now I’m here, writing this to you.
I hope that you found this helpful and encouraging. Dream anything you want, follow those dreams, know you have freedom to explore them, just make sure that you are living in your present world and loving and growing with those currently around you. The worst feeling is realizing that you have dreamt your life away without taking a moment to see what you really have.